Untruthfulness causes failure to forgive

The only justification for separation is the deception promoted by those seeking divorce. Often, those who file for divorce may bear more responsibility than the accused party. Infidelity is frequently named as the primary cause of divorce; however, it should be seen as a consequence of dishonesty, rather than the act itself. Every problem in the world stems from untruthfulness. Thus, anyone pushing for separation and pointing out issues, even within an organization, might actually be the source of the problem.

Divorce is prevalent, including within Christianity, where infidelity is frequently cited as the main reason for separation. The often misinterpreted scriptural reference was quoted by Matthew: “And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery” (Matthew 19:9 KJV).

Fornication is distinct from adultery as it involves unmarried individuals. According to Jesus, engaging in sexual relations for the first time with someone equates to marrying that person. While some translations might replace ‘fornication’ with ‘unfaithfulness,’ the Authorized Version distinctly puts ‘fornication’ as different from adultery. Fornication can be forgiven if disclosed before marriage. Concealing such behaviour can be considered valid grounds for divorce. However, if disclosed before marriage, using fornication as a reason for divorce within Christianity can also not be justifiable.

Forgiveness is a fundamental aspect by which Christianity is affirmed. In essence, an adulterous partner may be forgiven if they confess with remorse and seek forgiveness. According to the teachings of Jesus (Matthew 18:21-35), a person may be forgiven as many times as necessary. It is believed that difficulty in forgiving others may indicate insincerity. Hence, it is considered an axiomatic truth that only those with pure hearts are impervious to being emotionally hurt. Typically, it is those who have sinned and not confessed who find it hardest to forgive others.

Jesus had a pure heart, which is why He forgave all His enemies. Similarly, Joseph had a pure heart, allowing him to forgive his brothers despite their grievous sin of selling him for profit. Often, it is those with concealed sins who struggle to forgive. Without guidance to face these sins, the unforgiving people may remain unaware of the reasons behind their inability to forgive.

To the uninformed, an unforgiving individual may appear to maintain high moral standards. Yet, this perceived strictness often stems from the accusers’ own unrecognized transgressions. Knowing this, Jesus intervened to save a woman condemned to stoning by those fervently eager to execute the punishment. He prompted her accusers to reflect on their hidden sins, which resulted in them departing one after another.

Then the scribes and Pharisees brought to Him a woman caught in adultery. And when they had set her in the midst, they said to Him, “Teacher, this woman was caught in adultery, in the very act. Now Moses, in the law, commanded us that such should be stoned. But what do You say?” This they said, testing Him, that they might have something of which to accuse Him. But Jesus stooped down and wrote on the ground with His finger, as though He did not hear. So when they continued asking Him, He raised Himself up and said to them, 

“He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first.” And again He stooped down and wrote on the ground. Then those who heard it, being convicted by their conscience, went out one by one, beginning with the oldest even to the last. And Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst. When Jesus had raised Himself up and saw no one but the woman, He said to her, “Woman, where are those accusers of yours? Has no one condemned you?”  She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said to her, “Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.” Then Jesus spoke to them again, saying, “I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life” (John 8:3-12 NKJV)

The condemned adulterous woman might not have known that her accusers were also guilty of similar transgressions. The actions of Jesus were not extraordinary; they were merely guided by truth. Why then, could none of those hypocrites step forward to cast the first stone? It is widely recognized that despite a facade of righteousness, our inner conscience bears witness to our flaws. All humans are sinners, and every honest person acknowledges this fact. The only method to purify our hearts is by confessing our sins.

Humans can be categorized into two groups. Some believe that truth is painful and are inclined to avoid admitting their wrongdoings. These individuals are often strict with those who break the law, driven by the belief that their severity will cast them in a favourable light before the public. On the other hand, some embrace the idea that truth liberates them. These individuals are always willing to forgive, even the gravest offenders, which can lead to perceptions of leniency. David might have been one such person.

Now when King David came to Bahurim, there was a man from the family of the house of Saul, whose name was Shimei the son of Gera, coming from there. He came out, cursing continuously as he came. And he threw stones at David and at all the servants of King David. And all the people and all the mighty men were on his right hand and on his left. Also, Shimei said thus when he cursed: “Come out! Come out! You bloodthirsty man, you rogue! The Lord has brought upon you all the blood of the house of Saul, in whose place you have reigned; and the Lord has delivered the kingdom into the hand of Absalom your son. So now you are caught in your own evil, because you are a bloodthirsty man!”

Then Abishai the son of Zeruiah said to the king, “Why should this dead dog curse my lord the king? Please, let me go over and take off his head!” But the king said, “What have I to do with you, you sons of Zeruiah? So let him curse because the Lord has said to him, ‘Curse David.’ Who then shall say, ‘Why have you done so?’” And David said to Abishai and all his servants, “See how my son who came from my own body seeks my life. How much more now may this Benjamite? Let him alone, and let him curse; for so the Lord has ordered him. It may be that the Lord will look on my affliction and that the Lord will repay me with good for his cursing this day.” And as David and his men went along the road, Shimei went along the hillside opposite him and cursed as he went, threw stones at him and kicked up dust (2 Samuel 16:5-13 NKJV).

David’s behaviour demonstrates that a truthful individual is inclined to self-reflection before judging others. Such a person would choose to face condemnation themselves if justice demands it. This contrasts with someone who yearns for public approval of their goodness. Such people would rather have another suffer in their stead than endure suffering for someone else. This mindset echoes the decision of Jesus to undergo crucifixion instead of the infamous criminal Barabbas. It is also this disposition that led to one criminal being promised paradise, while the other was left condemned.

Then one of the criminals who were hanged blasphemed Him, saying, “If You are the Christ, save Yourself and us.” But the other, answering, rebuked him, saying, “Do you not even fear God, seeing you are under the same condemnation? And we indeed justly, for we receive the due reward of our deeds; but this Man has done nothing wrong.” Then he said to Jesus, “Lord, remember me when You come into Your kingdom.” And Jesus said to him, “Assuredly, I say to you, today you will be with Me in Paradise” (Luke 23:39-43 NKJV).

The anecdote above illustrates the singular behaviour that leads to paradise. It’s unnecessary to overly concern oneself with failing to meet Christianity’s standards. The essential quality is a consistent willingness to confess one’s sins and to forgive others. God values our attitude over our perfection in this life. He is aware of the sins that entangle us, which is precisely why He sent His only Son to save us. The desire to be perceived as good by others is often our downfall.

In a world acknowledged as sinful, one cannot afford to be overly judgmental of others. Empathy must be distinguished from sympathy, as the latter, though perhaps deemed acceptable, misses a divine attribute. A sympathetic individual may feel superior to others, whereas an empathetic individual strives to understand the plight of the less fortunate. They do so by imagining themselves in their circumstances, rather than looking down from a position of advantage.

Truthfulness is endowed with the attribute of eternity, whereas falsehood, despite its temporary allure, is as transient as the world itself. It is wise, then, to strive for the enduring quality of truth over the ephemeral pleasures of this world. Those who believe that truth brings discomfort must understand that this is not a justification to persist in sin in pursuing perfection. A person who embodies truth is seen as transparent rather than opaque.

Private lives are valued as they are believed to confer dignity. No one wishes to be publicly exposed as if they were more sinful than others. Yet, experiencing embarrassment can foster a constant attitude of humility, which is beneficial for those seeking certainty in reaching God’s Kingdom. When David was humiliated by Shimei, he saw it as a chance to gain God’s mercy. David had already judged himself for his past sins. It was his conduct that made God favour him, despite others judging him harshly. One of the overlooked Scriptures is in Jesus’ Olivet Sermon.

Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness sake, For theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you” (Matthew 5:10-12 NKJV).

It is unlikely for anyone to consider persecution a blessing in this world, much less find joy when faced with false accusations. However, Jesus taught that enduring such trials is what qualifies one for the Kingdom of Heaven. He declared that greater rewards await God’s people who are falsely accused by others in this world. This appears to be because it fosters humility, which can be exceedingly difficult to cultivate without external pressure.

In Jesus’ teachings, humility is a central theme that He emphasized consistently. To underscore its importance, Jesus performed the unimaginable act of foot-washing before His crucifixion. While some view this as a ceremonial act to be observed periodically by Christians, its true significance lies beyond the ritual—it is a behavioural practice adopted by those who seek God’s Kingdom. Understanding its full meaning is crucial, as it embodies the essence of what is most important. Merely performing the ceremony without grasping its purpose falls short. Jesus intended it to be adopted as a way of life.

Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into His hands and that He had come from God and was going to God, rose from supper and laid aside His garments, took a towel and girded Himself. After that, He poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet, and to wipe them with the towel with which He was girded. Then He came to Simon Peter. And Peter said to Him, “Lord, are You washing my feet?”

Jesus answered and said to him, “What I am doing you do not understand now, but you will know after this.”  Peter said to Him, “You shall never wash my feet!” Jesus answered him, “If I do not wash you, you have no part with Me.” Simon Peter said to Him, “Lord, not my feet only, but also my hands and my head!” Jesus said to him, “He who is bathed needs only to wash his feet, but is completely clean, and you are clean, but not all of you.” For He knew who would betray Him; therefore He said, “You are not all clean.”

So when He had washed their feet, taken His garments, and sat down again, He said to them, “Do you know what I have done to you? You call Me Teacher and Lord, and you say well, for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you. Most assuredly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master; nor is he who is sent greater than he who sent him. If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them” (John 13:3-17 NKJV).

Contrary to popular belief, Christianity was not intended for the purpose of receiving honour in this world. It was not established for the purpose of being perceived as superior to others. The more dishonour one endures, the greater their assurance of honour in God’s Kingdom. The treatment Jesus endured on the cross is not what the world would consider honourable. Christians should not seek a better station than that of Jesus. As His disciples, we are called to embrace the dishonour He bore.

The essential key to attaining the necessary humility lies in the readiness to forgive others, and recognizing one’s own susceptibility to sin. Being rejected to the extent Jesus experienced should be seen as a strong assurance of honour in God’s Kingdom. Eternity resides in truth, and those who uphold truth in their lives are assured of eternity. A Christian may not always be virtuous but is someone humble, continually conscious of their own frailties, and through this, the achievement of salvation in Jesus is assured.

Andrew Masuku is the author of Dimensions of a New Civilization, laying down standards for uplifting Zimbabwe from the current state of economic depression into a model for other nations worldwide. A decaying tree provides an opportunity for a blossoming sprout. Written from a Christian perspective, the book is a product of inspiration, bringing relief to those having witnessed the strings of unworkable solutions––leading to the current economic and social decay. Most Zimbabweans should find the book as a long-awaited providential oasis of hope, in a simple conversational tone.

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