It is crucial to strike a proper balance between showing love and avoiding the trap of overindulging children. This is for their healthy spiritual growth. Showing affection and providing support is important, but excessive pampering should be avoided to prevent entitlement and dependency. Parents and caregivers should foster a nurturing environment that also establishes appropriate boundaries and encourages self-reliance.
Achieving this equilibrium is not merely advantageous; it’s imperative for developing emotional toughness and instilling in children the value of duty and thankfulness. The handling of this vital element of human growth can determine the best or worst for future generations. Life inevitably involves enduring tough times and overcoming difficult challenges.
I have recently come to understand that the challenges I faced during my formative years were actually more of a blessing than I had once realized. My upbringing was quite unconventional, as I felt deprived of fatherly affection. Yet, looking back, I now appreciate my father for the unique enlightenment I gained, which would have been impossible without the adversities of my youth.
This has reinforced the notion that when life doesn’t give you what you want, it gives you vital experiences for growth. The initial years following my birth were somewhat challenging but proved to be instructive for my later development. The closest thing to indulgence I experienced was during my first three years of school, courtesy of my father.
However, this indulgence was marred by his overbearing control over the privileges I received, which left me feeling indifferent towards such treatment. From an early age, my father would have me awake at 3:00 am to work in the fields before school. Our lives changed significantly when we moved to Gokwe, which led to my father’s misfortunes and forced me to drop out of school at age twelve.
Material success is not always obvious, despite what is often expected in today’s secular world. I define success as granting satisfaction to one, independent of others’ opinions. I believe I am freer, more content, and more enlightened than many of my peers. The cumulative experiences of my life have shaped who I am today and allowed me to recognize the negative impacts that affect the younger generation. With this awareness, I feel compelled to share my insights, hoping others may find something useful to improve their own lives, as well.
In my observation, many parents rely on housemaids to care for the children they claim to love. This is particularly true when both partners are professionals earning good salaries. This raises a question: are those with well-paying jobs truly at an advantage or disadvantaged? Housemaids are often expected to clean, cook, and make beds for the children, yet parents become upset if a maid attempts to discipline their kids for any wrongdoing. Many parents equate love with providing good food, nice clothes, and endless entertainment, without considering the potential consequences of such indulgence.
There seems to be a common understanding that a person’s value is reflected in their spiritual state. One should dedicate the physical body to service, enhancing the spiritual aspect. On the other hand, focusing too much on physical development can hinder spiritual growth and lead to physical decline, such as obesity. The principle of dichotomy, when effectively applied, has the potential to yield benefits for humanity.
It’s intriguing and amusing that some individuals dedicate time to working out in the gym to maintain their physique, rather than using such bodies to serve others. Education targets the spiritual state, underscoring the importance of assessing educational content. Quality educational materials often demand considerable effort for successful outcomes; hence, Jesus advised being a servant to attract greatness. Hard work is not solely physical; mental exertion can be equally challenging.
But Jesus called them to Himself and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and those who are great exercise authority over them. Yet it shall not be so among you; but whoever desires to become great among you, let him be your servant. And whoever desires to be first among you, let him be your slave—just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many” (Matthew 20:25-28 NKJV).
Belief in Jesus is considered the most crucial aspect of life. Worldly leaders often dominate others, not realizing that such behaviour diminishes their own spiritual state. For instance, parents who employ a maid to perform household tasks may believe they are showing love to their children. They think a good lifestyle involves having a maid to do all the work for their children.
Ironically, such children grow up feeling fortunate to have such parents. Jesus’ teachings indicate that while nurturing the potential of a maid is commendable, it should not come at the expense of neglecting one’s own children. This is true even if the parents believe they would be demonstrating love for their children by placing burdensome responsibilities on the maid. The measure of an individual’s greatness lies in the extent of their physical effort to serve others.
Thus, loving one’s children implies teaching them this value. A person exercising such love would be mindful of the well-being of their children’s future generations. Spoiled children are ill-prepared to foster productive descendants. When parents equate love with pampering children, they perpetuate a flawed legacy. Regrettably, these misguided customs are more prevalent among the considered successful, rather than those considered less influential in developing societies.
In society, influencers are often those deemed successful, and frequently seen as role models. Consequently, emulating the elite becomes a trend. This is considered another affliction of the world, where foolishness is mistaken for wisdom, and true wisdom is dismissed as folly. Jesus presented His teachings as a path to wisdom, promising clarity for those seeking wisdom. Although Jesus’ influence is acknowledged worldwide, it is frequently viewed only within a religious framework, without truly embracing the core of His teachings. It’s important to recognize the wisdom found in the principles He shared, as ignoring them would be unwise.
“Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross. Therefore God also has highly exalted Him and given Him the name which is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those in heaven, and of those on earth, and of those under the earth, and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father” (Philippians 2:5-11 NKJV).
The fundamental principle highlighted above is that Jesus reduced His physical stature to achieve spiritual exaltation. To diminish one’s physical state means to dedicate it to serving others. Although considered unwise, this is the sole guarantee of achieving greatness, as Jesus taught. Consequently, a loving parent will invariably impart this principle to their children. The teachings of Jesus are life-giving tenets for humanity. To disregard them is akin to embracing demise. Loving children involves more than just providing comfort. It also includes teaching them the importance of hard work.
The body does not find comfort in strenuous labour. As a child, I hated being awakened at 3:00 am for fieldwork before school. Little did I know, my body was being trained to embrace the value of hard work. I cannot recall any organization I later worked for where my efforts went unrecognized before a promotion. It became clear to me that all successful individuals are industrious; practising a strong work ethic, developed like any other habit.
The physical body executes the commands of the mind through the spirit. The true worth of hard work is recognized when it benefits others. The recognition I received for my services from my employers was due to my hard work, rather than any supernatural charm. Even devoid of formal educational credentials, my endeavours were acknowledged and rewarded. Having taught extensively about this principle, Jesus observed that His disciples struggled to understand it. He then exemplified its practice on the night before His crucifixion.
Now before the Feast of the Passover, when Jesus knew that His hour had come that He should depart from this world to the Father, having loved His own who were in the world, He loved them to the end. And supper being ended, the devil having already put it into the heart of Judas Iscariot, Simon’s son, to betray Him, Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into His hands and that He had come from God and was going to God, rose from supper and laid aside His garments, took a towel and girded Himself. After that, He poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet, and to wipe them with the towel with which He was girded.
Then He came to Simon Peter. And Peter said to Him, “Lord, are You washing my feet?” Jesus answered and said to him, “What I am doing you do not understand now, but you will know after this” Peter said to Him, “You shall never wash my feet!” Jesus answered him, “If I do not wash you, you have no part with Me.” Simon Peter said to Him, “Lord, not my feet only, but also my hands and my head!” Jesus said to him, “He who is bathed needs only to wash his feet but is completely clean, and you are clean, but not all of you.” For He knew who would betray Him; therefore He said, “You are not all clean.”
So when He had washed their feet, taken His garments, and sat down again, He said to them, “Do you know what I have done to you? You call Me Teacher and Lord, and you say well, for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you. Most assuredly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master; nor is he who is sent greater than he who sent him. If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them” (John 13:1-17 NKJV).
Contrary to popular belief, Jesus was not instituting a religious ceremony for Christian assemblies, nor did he suggest a prophetic fulfilment with that performance. Instead, he was imparting a principle that underscores the significance of servitude. It is through the body, not the spirit, that service is rendered. When one commits to serving others, the realization dawns that the human body is inherently designed for such service. Instilling the principle of equality can be challenging for those accustomed to exploiting others.
The challenge often stems from the assumption that some individuals are naturally superior to others. A sense of service, instilled by parents in their children establishes a solid foundation on principles of life. Thus, the pursuit of external validation should be viewed as inconsistent with Christian values. While work may be monotonous, it becomes fulfilling for those who grasp their spiritual principle. Such individuals engage in areas of their talents and consequently produce outstanding results.
Imitating others is unnecessary when one is conscious of their innate purpose in life. In light of these Christian principles, understanding one’s identity is essential. The critical question when desiring direction is: What is the child’s purpose in life? They should then endeavour to serve in harmony with that purpose. The paramount consideration is that the service should be advantageous to others. There is nothing wrong with loving one’s children.
But that love should be balanced with helping them to understand that God created them for a purpose, known only by them. The harder one achieves that purpose, the better the person’s spirit is enhanced. Anyone in this world can use their physical body to serve others. However, this does not remove the fact that a person commits himself to hard work, even before discovering the talent. I became aware of my writing skills as late as after disengagement from formal employment. My experience in various other occupations helped sharpen my writing skills.
In other words, I embraced the ethos of: “Whatever task your hand finds to undertake, pursue it with all your might; for there is neither work nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom in the grave where you are heading” (Ecclesiastes 9:10). I mention these things, not to boast, but to reveal that God is capable of utilising any willing soul, in this world. The early apostles were summoned while immersed in their vocational passions, attending to their patrons. They committed themselves to these efforts. The fundamental principle is recognizing that service takes precedence above all else.
A person is endowed to serve when they possess both physical capabilities and the intellectual capacity to reason. As such, talents will invariably differ from one individual to another. It boils down to how one utilizes the modest amount they possess. The most regrettable course is to emulate the individual who held a single talent and believed God would be pleased with its burial, assuming God would accomplish the extraordinary while they themselves remained idle (Matthew 25:14-30).
Andrew Masuku is the author of Dimensions of a New Civilization, laying down standards for uplifting Zimbabwe from the current state of economic depression into a model for other nations worldwide. A decaying tree provides an opportunity for a blossoming sprout. Written from a Christian perspective, the book is a product of inspiration, bringing relief to those having witnessed the strings of unworkable solutions––leading to the current economic and social decay. Most Zimbabweans should find the book as a long-awaited providential oasis of hope, in a simple conversational tone.
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