Dealing with derogatory remarks from racists due to one’s appearance, or perhaps for not conforming to the intellectual standards among peers, is a challenge. It could be any physical characteristic that leads others to dismiss your presence. Additionally, you may encounter mistreatment from classmates, possibly stemming from jealousy over your high academic achievements. There are numerous reasons why one might find oneself in the company of people who harbour resentment, even to the point of wishing harm. How should one react, and what steps can one take to handle such animosity without being impacted? Even if you have not been directly antagonized, observing someone else being mistreated can affect you in various ways.
A person might be married with children yet find themselves in a tumultuous relationship, presenting valid grounds for considering divorce. Many aspire to lead a Christian life and walk in God’s light, only to encounter deep-seated animosity. The challenge lies in addressing such issues while seeking peace and liberation from strife. The Bible guides marital relations, generally discouraging divorce. However, the question remains: how can one preserve the sought-after joy in a tumultuous marriage? Undoubtedly, this is a concern that impacts countless individuals globally. Human dignity is upheld through the capacity to manage conflicts.
Happiness is a state that is cultivated internally. Anyone can achieve happiness, even in the face of severe adversity. Rejection is often viewed as having impacted Jesus more profoundly than any other person in history. Even when Jesus avoided violence and faced aggression from zealots who sought to stone him, he remained calm. He understood that his happiness was not dependent on others but was sustained within himself. There are precisely two methods for accessing happiness amidst challenging circumstances.
The first approach is about the readiness to embrace all experiences in life. Jesus, not being of this world, was aware of the harsh realities He would face. He understood the implications before choosing to confront the sinful adversity facing humanity. His decision to come was voluntary, not coerced. Had Jesus’ actions not been of His own volition, His sacrifice would have been meaningless. True love must emanate from free will, and not be imposed by any external force. The behaviour of Jesus’ adversaries did not catch Him unaware but contributed to His success in His endeavours.
“Therefore My Father loves Me, because I lay down My life that I may take it again. No one takes it from Me, but I lay it down for Myself. I have the power to lay it down, and I have the power to take it again. This command I have received from My Father” (John 10:17-18 NKJV).
Every successful endeavour in the world stems from a readiness to embrace new experiences. It is the ventures deemed adventurous that significantly advance our civilization. The invention of electric appliances arose from this openness to experimentation. Conversely, those who resist new experiences live in fear of failure or potential unknown dangers. Progress is unattainable for people with such an outlook. Jesus never permitted Himself to be victimized by sinful individuals. He stayed above, unaffected by their unacceptable treatment.
Scientifically speaking, resistance leads to friction, a condition often observed in warfare. With His knowledge, Jesus did not give in to resisting the actions of those who aimed to kill Him. At one point, He challenged one of His lieutenants, Peter, who failed to grasp the concept of being open to all experiences. Peter was always quick to react impulsively, due to his inability to cope with new experiences in life.
From that time Jesus began to show to His disciples that He must go to Jerusalem, and suffer many things from the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and be raised the third day. Then Peter took Him aside and began to rebuke Him, saying, “Far be it from You, Lord; this shall not happen to You!” But He turned and said to Peter, “Get behind Me, Satan! You are an offence to Me, for you are not mindful of the things of God, but the things of men” (Matthew 16:21-23 NKJV).
Peter’s demeanour was akin to someone incapable of finding joy in life, besieged by adversaries. Worldwide, only a handful experience widespread acceptance. Typically, adversaries perpetually disrupt the happiness of those sharing life with others. Jesus attributed such inabilities to human nature. Jesus’ peculiarity was in being prepared to endure anything, unfazed by concerns, as His mission was His priority. In the Garden of Gethsemane, although His human side struggled to assert itself, Jesus ultimately adhered to God’s will, as recounted in (Matthew 26:40-46). This has been documented for us to embrace as a strategy for managing adversity.
The willingness to embrace new experiences often distinguishes successful individuals from those who do not succeed. In horse-riding, there’s a saying: “A good horse-rider has fallen many times.” This illustrates that a person has gained significant experience through perseverance. In contrast, someone who lives in fear of falling will never attempt the daring manoeuvres that delight spectators. Embracing challenges provides an edge over those who shy away from bold actions. It also fosters the ability to manage diverse personalities without inviting adversity.
Adversaries appear to flourish when targeting those affected by their hostility. In schools, certain students attract derogatory nicknames by opposing them. The more they resist, the more these nicknames persist. Troublesome children often take pleasure in tormenting their peers. Those who are most affected are the ones who try to resist and express discontent with the troublesome children’s behaviour. It is their resistance that seems to attract further unhappiness to the victims.
The converse holds for those open to all experiences. The misdeeds of unruly children rebound when the victims do not resist their provocation. This conduct was cited as part of Jesus Christ’s teachings during a sermon to His disciples on the Mount of Olives. Those who are uninformed criticize these venerable teachings, not realizing they are essential for happiness in this life.
“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I tell you not to resist an evil person. But whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. If anyone wants to sue you and take away your tunic, let him have your cloak also And whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two. Give to him who asks you, and from him who wants to borrow from you do not turn away” (Matthew 5:38-42 NKJV).
Jesus taught the principle of being willing to endure anything in this life. This approach is the only way to counteract the negative effects of adversity, as opposed to retaliation, which acts like fire. The more one attempts to extinguish the fire by blowing on it, the more it flares up. This axiomatic principle is evident in all aspects of life. Happiness is achieved by acting contrary to what the adversary does, as serving to reduce the negative effects. Acceptance of teachings that regard Jesus as the source of knowledge comes from those who appreciate this perspective. It cannot be from those who believe that emotion alone can overcome adversity.
Jesus faced the adversity of coexisting with those who sought to end His life. Conversely, the Jews were unable to grasp much of what Jesus taught. Instead of addressing their lack of understanding, they felt threatened by His teachings which challenged their traditions. They were especially incensed by His claim of being the Son of God, which highlighted their reluctance to embrace new experiences.
Then the Jews took up stones again to stone Him. Jesus answered them, “Many good works I have shown you from My Father. For which of those works do you stone Me?” The Jews answered Him, saying, “For a good work we do not stone You, but for blasphemy, and because You, being a Man, make Yourself God.”
Jesus answered them, “Is it not written in your law, ‘I said, “You are gods” ’? If He called them gods, to whom the word of God came (and the Scripture cannot be broken), do you say of Him whom the Father sanctified and sent into the world, ‘You are blaspheming,’ because I said, ‘I am the Son of God’?” (John 10:31-36 NKJV).
The teachings of Jesus were not at fault; rather, it was the reluctance of those Jews to embrace new knowledge. This resistance is not uncommon, particularly among those who are less educated. Often, to mask their lack of knowledge, they become emotionally reactive. Such individuals are typically governed by their emotions instead of guided by rational thought. The Jews murdered Jesus because they could not experience the new information that Jesus had provided. The second approach to achieving happiness is to do only those things that can be easily acceptable to others.
The Jews sought to stone Jesus because he presented teachings that were unacceptable to them. Nonetheless, Jesus had to endure this adversity as it was predestined for him to undergo such trials. In our interactions with others, we should also apply the second method, in fostering happiness. This involves doing only what others can easily endure. Paul was able to implement this principle successfully in his interactions with those he ministered to.
“For though I am free from all men, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win the more; and to the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might win Jews; to those who are under the law, as under the law, that I might win those who are under the law; to those who are without law, as without law (not being without law toward God, but under law toward Christ), that I might win those who are without law” (1 Corinthians 9:19-21 NKJV).
Paul aimed to facilitate experiences that were easily accessible to others. He endeavoured to uphold the truth while delivering it to his audience’s level of comprehension. His goal was not to undermine their current understanding, provided it did not contravene the principle of love. For instance, if fixated on the law, he avoided offending those who deemed the law essential.
His objective was to assist the new believers in maturing in grace towards fully understanding Jesus’ teachings. Paul demonstrated love and empathy towards those who had not yet accepted the teachings of Jesus. Paul’s ministry, which shaped his conduct accordingly, primarily to the Gentiles, differed from that of Jesus.
While Jesus did occasionally meet with Gentiles, His ministry was primarily directed towards the House of Israel, especially the Jews. He often taught in Jewish synagogues on the Sabbath. Many of His confrontations with the Jews centred around the issue of Sabbath observance. Jesus was the Lord of the Sabbath, whereas they were emotionally attached to the Sabbath without understanding the significance of observing it.
In essence, happiness stems not from the reception of good things from others, but from the delight in giving. In the context of marriage, a wife who incessantly demands gifts from her husband may find herself increasingly unhappy, a consequence of the unquenchable nature of human wants. Likewise, a husband who persistently seeks respect from his wife may also encounter unhappiness. Genuine happiness emerges from the capacity to give rather than focusing exclusively on what one receives from others.
Two methods that enhance desired happiness are: firstly, the willingness to experience anything in life, and secondly, causing only those things that others can easily experience. Love is the sole condition in life that guarantees happiness, as it relates to our interactions with fellow humans. It is impossible to love others without the ability to empathize with their level of understanding. This is just as it is equally impossible to express love towards them without the willingness to experience their circumstances. This should all be done with the understanding that love covers a multitude of sins. Our happiness is often affected by the sins of others, especially when we are unable to confront their sinful conditions.
“But the end of all things is at hand; therefore be serious and watchful in your prayers. And above all things have fervent love for one another, for “love will cover a multitude of sins. Be hospitable to one another without grumbling. As each one has received a gift, minister it to one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God” (1 Peter 4:7-8 NKJV).
John highlighted the significance of being open to all experiences, drawing a parallel to the Christian principle of imitating Jesus. This openness may lead to physical discomfort, but it’s crucial to recognize that happiness, similar to love, is a spiritual condition not contingent on physical situations. The greater joy is found in serving others rather than in perpetually receiving from them.
“Do not marvel, my brethren, if the world hates you. We know that we have passed from death to life because we love the brethren. He who does not love his brother abides in death. Whoever hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him. By this, we know love because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. But whoever has this world’s goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him?” (1 John 3:13-17 NKJV).
The guidance provided in the aforementioned Scripture assures happiness. It is the realization of a willingness to embrace all experiences. Such actions should be undertaken with the intent of facilitating experiences that others can readily share. Without this consideration, we risk facing opposition from people, instead of appreciation for our deeds. True giving should be free of any ulterior motives.
Andrew Masuku is the author of Dimensions of a New Civilization, laying down standards for uplifting Zimbabwe from the current state of economic depression into a model for other nations worldwide. A decaying tree provides an opportunity for a blossoming sprout. Written from a Christian perspective, the book is a product of inspiration, bringing relief to those having witnessed the strings of unworkable solutions––leading to the current economic and social decay. Most Zimbabweans should find the book as a long-awaited providential oasis of hope, in a simple conversational tone.
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